I didnt go to summer camp this year

I went to summer camp one year out of my whole life. It was the summer after I graduated high school. I went with my youth group. This was in 2004. I had a really great time. Even though there were dramas with boys and such, it was a really good time. I almost wish that I could go back to high school and redo the summers. I would have taken advantage of being able to do whatever without adult responsibilities.

I find that this summer, I have to work WAY too much to have fun. I have bills to pay now, and I cant afford to go to the beach or amusement parks every week. I am pissed that I missed the opportunity to be able to do that. I am 23 years old. An adult now. And I want to be a kid again. I thought that was supposed to happen when I was like middle aged.?

I am attempting to make a turnaround with my career. I can free up my time that is spent driving and maybe actually have a life. I miss my friends. I have neglected not only them, but my own family as well. I have become the person I have feared of becoming. I am work obsessed. My life revolves around my job and the people I work with. The free time that I have is spent with my love, Sean. I am a miserable person most of the time. I dont even smile anymore.

I will NOT go in to the new year with these same habits and this crazy lifestyle. I miss my life. I want it back. Maybe not summer camp me, but a happy, healthy me.